Holiday Contest: “Holidaze! or, Santy Claws Gnu What Eye Kneaded”

December 17, 2012 71 Comments by Renee M. LaTulippe

 Holiday Contest!

Astounding! This is the third contest hosted by Susanna Hill that I’ve entered this year! How do I do it? I do not know. This time it’s the 2nd Annual Holiday Contest, with these guidelines:

So here is my 221-word entry. Be sure to check out the other zany holiday delights right here at Susanna’s place. Or better yet, join in the fun!

 

HOLIDAZE!

or, Santy Claws Gnu What Eye Kneaded

Lurching threw the do
on a too-toad Christmas mousse–
His name? I’ve knot a clew.
Eye think aisle call hymn Bruce.

The last thing eye recall,
eye was looking really sheik
and heading four a bawl
down buy Bolder Creak.

Eye slipped and hit my head
wile walking in the missed,
then awl my words fell out my ear
and now eye right like this!

Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!

Eye opened up my ayes
and scrambled two my feat
and what too my sir prize
a voice said, “High, my suite!”

His close whir soft and read.
His presents gave me paws,
fore their upon his sled
was my idle — Santy Claws!

“Get up on this mousse.
Ewe took a nasty spilly.
Now tell me what ewe wont four Christmas
heir it gets two chili.”

Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!

Eye gnu write aweigh
upon witch gift to seas:
“Awl eye wont four Christmas
is a dictionary, pleas!”

Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!

 

(Thank ewe awl sew much–
this tail has run it’s coarse.
I’d sing ewe awl this song and such,
butt I’m a little horse – nay!)

MARRY CHRISTMAS ~ HAPPY GNU YEAR ~ PIECE ON EARTH!

 

Try the Homophone Machine!

Homophones are lots of fun to play with, and I had a ball playing with them as editor and writer for All About Homophones. And guess what? There’s a Homophone Machine right here that you can play with, too. I didn’t use it for this poem, but all you have to do is type in a sentence, hit Convert, and see what kind of silly sentence pops out. Give it a try!

More holiday cheer!

Tune in Friday to meet and greet fellow poet and friend Penny Klostermann.
Penny has some gossip about the Grinch and his dog Max that you won’t want to miss!

See more poems in my poetry video library.

“Holidaze!” © 2012 Renee M. LaTulippe. All rights reserved.

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71 Comments

  1. Susanna Leonard Hill
    4 years ago

    HAHAHAHAHA! You are SO clever and funny Renee! I think my favorite part is the end, but it’s all terrific! How on earth did you figure out how to make a sensical poem/story out of all those homophones? I am impressed! So glad you joined in the contest! 🙂 (P.S. For some reason this reminds me of the Jabberwocky:))

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      4 years ago

      Glad you enjoyed it, Susanna! The trick is to write the poem first and add the homophones later. 🙂

      Reply

  2. Patricia Tilton
    4 years ago

    Very, very funny. I love it all. This is a masterpiece. Oh, so clever!

    Reply

  3. Linda Baie
    4 years ago

    I think u mite knead sum help with yore spelling. I kin male a book if u like.

    I hope you win, Renee. I just sat down to read some posts, & there you were. So clever, a lot of brightness at the end of this tough weekend. I’m not sure it’s time this week, but I’ll be sure to share with those teachers of older students! Thanks!

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      4 years ago

      Ha! Eye think eye mite knead yore book after awl, Linda Buy! Pleas dew share wen ewe kin. 🙂

      Reply

  4. Carrie F
    4 years ago

    Oh my, Renee…your mind just goes to the limits, doesn’t it? This is FABULOUS. I love it!!

    Reply

  5. Laura Renauld
    4 years ago

    This is so incredibly clever! Brilliant use of homophones. And you even made it a story, in rhyme, to a song! As you can tell, I’m impressed 🙂

    Reply

  6. Vivian Kirkfield
    4 years ago

    Renee…you are a word genius…because it takes genius to use so many ‘incorrect’ words and still make ‘cents’!!!
    What fun this was to read. 😉

    Reply

  7. Melissa
    4 years ago

    hahaha, love it 🙂 Took a bit of reading, but I got through it & really enjoyed it.

    Reply

  8. Joanna
    4 years ago

    ewe r two brilliant! How long did this take to put together? It’s a homophonic pièce de résistance!

    Reply

  9. Iza Trapani
    4 years ago

    HAHAHAHA! Wot a grate pome- sew humerus! 🙂

    Reply

  10. Beth Stilborn
    4 years ago

    Wow. That was great! My brain is tied into knots, but it’s happy that way.

    Reply

  11. Heather
    4 years ago

    Wow! Ewe are won talented poet, eye can’t believe ewe maid this up! Ewe must have a lot of patients. Marry Christmas to ewe and a pieceful New Year!

    Reply

  12. jama
    4 years ago

    Brilliant! What do you put in your coffee, anyway? What a mind . . . 🙂

    Reply

  13. Tina Cho
    4 years ago

    This is hilarious, Renee! You’re so talented! I’m sure high school teachers would love this poem!

    Reply

  14. Linda Boyden
    4 years ago

    Ewe-all have a Happy Xmas or a Happy Ewell. Fun stuff!

    Reply

  15. Pam
    4 years ago

    Oh what fun! What delightful fun! Renee ewe or sew inkredibull. Yore poit-tree is grate. How kin won hueman bean halve awl dose gyms in won mined? Yore acornzing (get it? not a homophone, but…) tee hee!

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      4 years ago

      Acornzing??? Ewe mite halve just invented a gnu form of pome – hmmm……

      Reply

      • Pam
        4 years ago

        Hahahaha! It’s no homophone. A corn (maze) ing. Amazing, acornzing! It’s so stupid. Yet I couldn’t help it. I blame the egg nog.

        Reply

        • Renee M. LaTulippe
          4 years ago

          Ha! I got the joke, Pam! I was saying you’ve invented a new challenge that I feel I must pursue – taking words like “amazing” and replacing parts of them with synonyms. Now THAT would take some serious thinking…. 🙂

          Reply

  16. Catherine Johnson
    4 years ago

    Ewe arr sew clever, Renee! Bravo!

    Reply

  17. Cathy Mealey
    4 years ago

    I was sure for a moment that I was sitting in 12th grade English Lit, slogging through The Canterbury Tales once again.

    “People can die of mere imagination”.
    Geoffrey Chaucer

    Happy Holidays Renee!

    Reply

  18. Lauri Meyers
    4 years ago

    Sew grate! Ha!

    Reply

  19. Juliie
    4 years ago

    Wow! So much fun! Please don’t admit it came easy – I’d like to think it took all you had, and will take you weeks to recover! Really terrific!

    Reply

  20. Julie Hedlund
    4 years ago

    Wow! I think my brain is going to explode, but that is so awesome it’s worth it! I mussed no how ewe dew it!!!

    Reply

  21. Erik - This Kid Reviews Books
    4 years ago

    Eye enjoyed reading this grate poem! Eye can’t stop laughing! Eye even hit the sealing! 😉

    Reply

  22. patientdreamer
    4 years ago

    I laughed myself right off my seat…. so hillarous! Tell me the truth, you had something a little more stronger than tea when you did this… surely? ..LOL.

    Reply

  23. Maria
    4 years ago

    Wow! This is fantastic! I needed this when I was teaching homophones to fifth graders. So much fun 🙂

    Reply

  24. Janet Smart
    4 years ago

    Wow, Renee, very different. I don’t know how you did it. Fun story.

    Reply

  25. Jennifer Rumberger
    4 years ago

    Wow! That was amazing to read. Very different!

    Reply

  26. Robyn Campbell
    4 years ago

    Oh man! You must be the queen of the homophones! Sweet story that made my heart dance and smile, dance and smile. The ending is so fantastical! Great job. 🙂

    Reply

  27. Alayne Kay Christian
    4 years ago

    Very clever. I was happy to see the MC put in a request for a dictionary.
    Eye couldn’t weight two try the homophone machine, sew hear is my first attempt. Thanks four sharing.

    Reply

  28. clarbojahn
    4 years ago

    So clever! But then I think your other entries were just so, too. Thanks for sharing such a unique way to enter the contest, Renee. 🙂

    Reply

  29. Cheryl Secomb
    4 years ago

    Ha Ha! Very clever. I enjoyed this. Great job!

    Reply

  30. Anna
    4 years ago

    I love the challenge of reading this and trying not to over think what I’m seeing. It shifted my brain to have to “listen” better which was a fun puzzle to go along with a funny story. So creative and tricky!

    Reply

  31. Penny Klostermann
    4 years ago

    Renee, Your truly won of a kind,! This is so cute and fun!

    Reply

  32. Hannah Holt
    4 years ago

    Eye ken knot think of a moor perfect Christmas poem. Eye bet spell check didn’t bat an I. A very marry Christmas to you! Well spun!

    Reply

  33. Hannah Holt
    4 years ago

    Silly me. I meant, “A vary marry Christmas two ewe.”

    Reply

  34. Stacy S. Jensen
    4 years ago

    Oh, how very funny. I would convert this, but hubby is recovering from the flu and the toddler is occupied. So, I will just say: Merry Christmas!

    Reply

  35. Margaret Greanias
    4 years ago

    I have to admit I was confused at first, but once I got to the refrain, I LOVED it. Nice job.

    Reply

  36. nrhatch
    4 years ago

    Wonderful FUN! Thanks for the laugh. 😀

    Reply

  37. Matt Forrest
    4 years ago

    Wow, that was a lot of fun – but I’m worn out! Whew! Knot shore how ewe maid it two thee end!

    Reply

  38. B.J. Lee
    4 years ago

    Holy Schmoly! I couldn’t believe my I’s. Fabulous!

    Reply

  39. Mary Lee
    4 years ago

    So. Very. Fun.

    or, alternately:

    Sew. Vary. Fun.

    Reply

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