Poetry Friday: The Writing of “Anthem” for March Madness 2013

March 22, 2013 26 Comments by Renee M. LaTulippe

"Anthem" by Renee M. LaTulippe

March Madness Continues!

Round 3 of March Madness 2013 Poetry Tournament is up for voting with some really superb poems. I’m pretty excited to have gotten through another level, since I was booted in Round 2 last year. My word for this round is BIFURCATE, an assignment that engendered much hilarity on Facebook. If you haven’t stopped by to vote, just click the image below to be taken to the full scoreboard where you can see and vote on all the poems.

R3-Humor-16-bifurcate-vs-13-morass

For the first round, I shared my pretty straightforward writing process for “Elegy for a Daffodil.” But sometimes (usually) the process is anything but straightforward, as happened with my Round 2 poem.

hero-standing

For this one, I had 36 hours to compose a poem for the 16-seed word SUBTERFUGE. I had a full day of rehearsals that day, so had very little time to brainstorm. However, I did have an inkling of an idea when I woke up, which I entrusted to my husband (in case I forgot it) as I ran out the door.

The idea stayed with me all day, but I didn’t have time to play with it at rehearsal. That night, as soon as I sat down at the computer, I got a message blip from my old friend and #1 fan David Steinberg, a playwright, who has been closely following the ups and downs of March Madness.

What I ended up with was a typical poetry brainstorm session, similar to so many I’ve had in the past with my husband and brother. So here’s the minute by minute playback of how a poem is born.

7:29pm

D: What are you going to do with subterfuge?

R: My first idea was to end with the line “and that’s the subterfuge of ________,” filling in the blank with something you wouldn’t expect, like penguins or something. Then the poem would cryptically work up to that line, basically laying out how this thing is sly. It has to be a thing you wouldn’t expect to be sly.

This makes no sense. Don’t know how to explain. Will have to think about it!

D: I know EXACTLY what you mean! You could make it seem that you are a detective pursuing a criminal but it’s really a butterfly. It could be a butterfly that uses its spots and coloring to hide from you. I think it must be an animal or insect — something alive and ambulatory.

7:31pm

R: You understand me! You really understand me! That’s very cool. I like the butterfly idea. However, this would not be a funny poem, and that’s dangerous. Hm, but BUTTERFLY has too many syllables. It would work best with a one-syllabe word, or even two at the most….
Penguins has comic potential, but maybe it’s too out there…

I agree it should be a living thing. Then again….maybe not. Something elusive…What about a spider? But they are sly, so it’s not a big surprise.

7:34pm

D: Penguin is not too “out there” but it is overused. You need something weird.
rabbits?

7:35pm

R: totally agree
ooh, i like rabbits because they’re silent…
and that’s the subterfuge of bunnies…

7:36pm

D: and they’re cute and innocent

R: what if it’s like a serious poem and it ends with the word “bunnies”

D: yes, bunnies!

R: yes!! bunnies indeed!
now I just have to figure out the other 7 lines

7:37pm

D: why would it be serious?

R: meaning, like a james bond feel
stalking the foe

D: exactly!

7:38pm

R: it’s a person trying to figure out why the garden is a mess, but written as a bond thing
hmmm….no idea how to craft that….yet…
if I end with bunnies, I’ll need a rhyme for it

7:39pm

D: I think it’s a good idea but you don’t want to be too similar to the first and it sounds like there may be more dead flowers at this point.

7:40pm

R: hm, it might have to be just the one bunny
yeah, there is that danger
no, but i wouldn’t write about dead lettuce
i should brainstorm some other ideas
I think I have to go stare into space a while and see what I come up with. It’s already 7:30pm and I want to spend some time with the boys, do some work, etc. But I AT LEAST have to get a nugget of this thing going.
I am going to disappear for an hour or two
must go into my happy place to figure this out

***

From this you can see that I began with an idea for the end of the poem, which is pretty normal for me. Endings always seem to come to me first, so my writing process is less about wondering where the story is going and more about figuring out where it’s already been.

But when I sat down to write, the bunnies skittered away and I wrote this note to myself: 

Maybe a poetry slam kind of thing for older kids 

And then these tentative ideas:

Say what you want. My ears are shut.
Who’s got time for you?
crack me like a cashew nut.

Too busy strutting – I don’t care
your whispers, rumors, subterfuge.
Say what you want. My ears are shut.
Watch me strut. I’m gonna be HUGE.

Sometime poems are like that. You think they’re going to be about bunnies, but then they’re about empowerment. You just have to go with it. The revisions on this were minimal once I got the eight lines framed. I started with this.

Say what you want. My ears are shut.
Your code for me does not apply.                [code or rules? code goes with crack/crack the code…]
I see your mouth move. Tell you what—   [suggestion from fellow poet: “mouths” to signify wider-spread bullying]
save your breath. Don’t even try
to crack me like a cashew nut.                     [David alerts me that cashews don’t have shells! Does coconut work?]
with whispers, rumors, subterfuge.         [would rather have a conjunction in here]
Say what you want. My ears are shut.
I’m gonna be great. I’m gonna be HUGE.  [“great” is really weak. What does it say?]

The first five lines seemed good to me, except for the tweaks indicated, so I moved on to lines 6 and 8, which were the weakest. I tried these on for size:

Line 6:
with wicked lies and subterfuge        [“wicked” doesn’t seem authentic kid’s voice, but I like the lies]
with rumors, lies, and subterfuge

Line 8:  [most important line; must be the narrator’s declaration / anthem] I’m gonna strut. I’m gonna be HUGE    [is the kid a rooster?]
Who are you? I’m gonna be HUGE.     [Defiant. possible.]
Watch me rise. I’m gonna be HUGE.

Unlike with the last poem, I did not have the moment of abandonment and despair. Sometimes a poem just wants to be written without a lot of fuss. Even if it means killing off the bunnies.

ANTHEM

Say what you want. My ears are shut.
Your code for me does not apply.
I see your mouths move. Tell you what–
save your breath. Don’t even try
to crack me like a coconut
with rumors, lies, and subterfuge.
Say what you want. My ears are shut.
Watch me rise. I’m gonna be HUGE.


hero-flying

 

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March Madness Poetry 2013

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See more poems in my poetry video library.
 
“Anthem” copyright 2013 Renée M. LaTulippe. All rights reserved.

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26 Comments

  1. Laura Shovan
    5 years ago

    Hi, Renee. This poem should be paired with my “Dear Bully.” I feel like we’re looking at the same issue — what it means to feel comfortable (or not) with one’s sense of self. Not always easy for kids.

    I still want to hear about the subterfuge of penguins!

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      5 years ago

      Yes, I thought of that when I saw your Round 3 poem, Laura. Tough subject, but close to home for too many kids.

      I’ve scheduled a conference call with the penguins. Will keep you posted. 🙂

      Reply

  2. Iza Trapani
    5 years ago

    What a great peek into your process! And how nice to have friends and family to brainstorm with. I also, almost always, start with the last line. Either we are weird or great minds think alike! Love your poems, Renee! Good luck in the rest of the tournament!

    Reply

  3. Gloson Teh
    5 years ago

    Interesting process, Renee. Thanks for reciting the poem! I think you gave me goosebumps!

    Reply

  4. Janet F.
    5 years ago

    This is so fabulous hearing how your mind works ;-)…….perfect for sharing with students once again. Bunnies to angst and empowerment. And, I , too, think a penguin poem would be interesting. Here is a challenge for you and no fair googling!!! Do you know off the top of your head how many species of penguins there are? More once you answer. (I happen to have a plethora of penguin factoids at my fingertips or tonguetip! Taught about them and Antarctica for a number of years!!! Actually quite a fascinating set of subjects.

    Good luck in Round 3!!

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      5 years ago

      Nope, no idea how many penguin species there are. And here I thought watching HAPPY FEET ten times would make me an expert!

      Reply

      • Janet F.
        5 years ago

        Ha ha ha!!! Happy Feet!!!!
        Did you ever manage to sit through March of the Penguins? It is good, but long I thought.

        So most scientists say 17 species and some say 18! I have written a little ditty (song) about this and would be happy to share with you sometime. Kids ADORE penguins, so the more kid poems about them the better!!! From my “song” kids can name all 18, the categories of penguins and a few other facts. Sort an extension of my original forays into using poetry for learning and literacy in my 3rd grade.

        With your talent, I am sure you will be able to manifest some excellent penguin poetry once you have won the Thinkier. (Not trying to jinx you, but I am rooting for you!!)

        Reply

  5. Gloson Teh
    5 years ago

    I have a question, Renee. How do you keep track of your writing progress? Do you use a software that automatically saves your edits, or do you do it manually?

    Reply

    • Renee M. LaTulippe
      5 years ago

      Sadly, Gloson, I am not that organized. I’ve never really kept track of drafts as I usually just keep overwriting whatever I’m working on. I’ve only recently started to keep drafts, thinking they might actually be useful, but haven’t found a good system yet.

      I throw ideas, phrases, lines, words, etc into my Penzu online journal, and usually paste my final poems there too. While working, though, I just use a Word doc with columns and rows. I put rhymes and random phrases and ideas in one column and write in the other. When I get to a certain point and want to tweak, I copy the poem to a new row and so on. It’s not ideal, but that’s all I’ve got so far. 🙂

      Reply

  6. jama
    5 years ago

    *rubs hands together*

    Fascinating to see what goes on in that crazy creative head of yours. And how cool to have a simpatico brainstorm partner. “Anthem” did the trick — now good luck with Round 3. I admit to not knowing what bifurcate means till now. The things you learn through MM!

    Reply

  7. Penny Klostermann
    5 years ago

    Very interesting to see your process. I love seeing into your mind and hearing your thoughts and the paths they take. I’m impressed you can remember how you got from point A to point B. I’m not always sure how I got where I ended up! ha!

    Reply

  8. Carrie F
    5 years ago

    I loved hearing you read ‘Anthem’ Renee, and reading about your process. This is quite an empowering poem.

    OK, time to stop procrastinating and check on the March Madness voting again. Uh…I mean, get back to work.

    Reply

  9. Buffy Silverman
    5 years ago

    Great once again to hear your process and your reading of your Anthem. It’s fascinating to read of the humorous course that you thought you were taking until another decided to overtake you. Your poem was thoughtful and well done.

    Reply

  10. Catherine Johnson
    5 years ago

    It’s great to hear that poem aloud and see your process. How fun to have that back and forth banter about what you are going to write.

    Reply

  11. Erik - This Kid Reviews Books
    5 years ago

    Nice poem about bullying! 😀

    Reply

  12. Ruth
    5 years ago

    Fabulous! I love the process. It’s so much fun to see.

    Reply

  13. Charles Waters
    5 years ago

    Nice poem! Enjoyed reading your process. Just got finished with your theatre poem in TPFAMS and honestly that kicked butt too!!!!!!

    Reply

  14. Linda Baie
    5 years ago

    Wow-It’s great to see how much work and the kind of thinking goes into your finally believing it’s a wrap. I’m going to save this for sharing with the teachers of older students Renee. I believe they will find it useful. I’m amazed that you started with bunnies, and ended with empowerment-is this a reprise of Watership Down?

    Reply

  15. Susanna Leonard Hill
    5 years ago

    Again, I loved getting to see your process! So cool. You are so clever 🙂

    Reply

  16. Robyn Hood Black
    5 years ago

    Enjoyed this post, Renee, and CONGRATS on making it to the Elilte Eight! Woo-hoo!

    I noticed two things here:
    1.) You, and some other creative folks I know, are quite comfy talking ideas out before writing them down – I wanna be left alone in my rabbit hole to conjure up something, and THEN I want feedback. Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test, or some version? I love how creativity manifests itself in different ways in different peeps.

    2.) Just me, or were the seeds of your most excellent “bifurcate” poem wiggling around in the peat moss of the beginnings of THIS poem – sly bunnies, ambushing ants?

    Reply

  17. Dana Carey
    5 years ago

    I bet you are going to be huge, Renée! Different tone this time with an important message. So interesting that you start with endings– I love this line: ” Endings always seem to come to me first, so my writing process is less about wondering where the story is going and more about figuring out where it’s already been.”
    Endings can be so hard– I think I’ll try to start with an ending and see what happens…

    Reply

  18. Mary Lee
    5 years ago

    I love these process peeks!

    Reply

  19. Teresa Robeson
    5 years ago

    Thank you for a fascinating look into your thought process for creating one of your poems! This is the sort of thing that would be incredible helpful and useful for inclusion in a class you’d teach on poetry. Hint, hint! 😉

    Reply

  20. Leslee Anne Hewson
    3 years ago

    Thank you Renee for outlining your process, and the thoughts and ideas that pop up and hop onto the page and then hop off again. Where’s that bunny gone?! haha
    I love the Anthem poem and I envisage a rapper performing this one. Well done. I hope you won?

    Reply

  21. Robyn Campbell
    3 years ago

    Renee, Love this!! Just to be able to glance (snoop) into your process makes me feel like I’m ACTUALLY getting the poetry thing not to mention taking the Lyrical Language Lab course. I’M SO BLESSED! Love what you said about empowerment. Thank you for sharing these posts with us. 🙂

    Reply

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