Holiday Contest: “Holidaze! or, Santy Claws Gnu What Eye Kneaded”

 Holiday Contest!

Astounding! This is the third contest hosted by Susanna Hill that I’ve entered this year! How do I do it? I do not know. This time it’s the 2nd Annual Holiday Contest, with these guidelines:

So here is my 221-word entry. Be sure to check out the other zany holiday delights right here at Susanna’s place. Or better yet, join in the fun!



or, Santy Claws Gnu What Eye Kneaded

Lurching threw the do
on a too-toad Christmas mousse–
His name? I’ve knot a clew.
Eye think aisle call hymn Bruce.

The last thing eye recall,
eye was looking really sheik
and heading four a bawl
down buy Bolder Creak.

Eye slipped and hit my head
wile walking in the missed,
then awl my words fell out my ear
and now eye right like this!

Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!

Eye opened up my ayes
and scrambled two my feat
and what too my sir prize
a voice said, “High, my suite!”

His close whir soft and read.
His presents gave me paws,
fore their upon his sled
was my idle — Santy Claws!

“Get up on this mousse.
Ewe took a nasty spilly.
Now tell me what ewe wont four Christmas
heir it gets two chili.”

Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!

Eye gnu write aweigh
upon witch gift to seas:
“Awl eye wont four Christmas
is a dictionary, pleas!”

Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!


(Thank ewe awl sew much–
this tail has run it’s coarse.
I’d sing ewe awl this song and such,
butt I’m a little horse – nay!)



Try the Homophone Machine!

Homophones are lots of fun to play with, and I had a ball playing with them as editor and writer for All About Homophones. And guess what? There’s a Homophone Machine right here that you can play with, too. I didn’t use it for this poem, but all you have to do is type in a sentence, hit Convert, and see what kind of silly sentence pops out. Give it a try!

More holiday cheer!

Tune in Friday to meet and greet fellow poet and friend Penny Klostermann.
Penny has some gossip about the Grinch and his dog Max that you won’t want to miss!

See more poems in my poetry video library.

“Holidaze!” © 2012 Renee M. LaTulippe. All rights reserved.

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  1. HAHAHAHAHA! You are SO clever and funny Renee! I think my favorite part is the end, but it’s all terrific! How on earth did you figure out how to make a sensical poem/story out of all those homophones? I am impressed! So glad you joined in the contest! 🙂 (P.S. For some reason this reminds me of the Jabberwocky:))

  2. I think u mite knead sum help with yore spelling. I kin male a book if u like.

    I hope you win, Renee. I just sat down to read some posts, & there you were. So clever, a lot of brightness at the end of this tough weekend. I’m not sure it’s time this week, but I’ll be sure to share with those teachers of older students! Thanks!

  3. This is so incredibly clever! Brilliant use of homophones. And you even made it a story, in rhyme, to a song! As you can tell, I’m impressed 🙂

  4. Oh what fun! What delightful fun! Renee ewe or sew inkredibull. Yore poit-tree is grate. How kin won hueman bean halve awl dose gyms in won mined? Yore acornzing (get it? not a homophone, but…) tee hee!

        1. Ha! I got the joke, Pam! I was saying you’ve invented a new challenge that I feel I must pursue – taking words like “amazing” and replacing parts of them with synonyms. Now THAT would take some serious thinking…. 🙂

  5. I was sure for a moment that I was sitting in 12th grade English Lit, slogging through The Canterbury Tales once again.

    “People can die of mere imagination”.
    Geoffrey Chaucer

    Happy Holidays Renee!

  6. I love the challenge of reading this and trying not to over think what I’m seeing. It shifted my brain to have to “listen” better which was a fun puzzle to go along with a funny story. So creative and tricky!

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