Holiday Contest!
Astounding! This is the third contest hosted by Susanna Hill that I’ve entered this year! How do I do it? I do not know. This time it’s the 2nd Annual Holiday Contest, with these guidelines:
- no more than 350 words
- the poem or story must start with “Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh” or some variant of that phrase
- the entry must appeal to kids
- there will be prizes, and those prizes include picture book manuscript critiques by published authors Alison Hertz, Amy Dixon, Corey Rosen Schwartz, Sarah Frances Hardy, and Tiffany Strelitz Haber.
- THERE WILL BE PRIZES!
So here is my 221-word entry. Be sure to check out the other zany holiday delights right here at Susanna’s place. Or better yet, join in the fun!
HOLIDAZE!
or, Santy Claws Gnu What Eye Kneaded
Lurching threw the do
on a too-toad Christmas mousse–
His name? I’ve knot a clew.
Eye think aisle call hymn Bruce.
The last thing eye recall,
eye was looking really sheik
and heading four a bawl
down buy Bolder Creak.
Eye slipped and hit my head
wile walking in the missed,
then awl my words fell out my ear
and now eye right like this!
Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!
Eye opened up my ayes
and scrambled two my feat
and what too my sir prize
a voice said, “High, my suite!”
His close whir soft and read.
His presents gave me paws,
fore their upon his sled
was my idle — Santy Claws!
“Get up on this mousse.
Ewe took a nasty spilly.
Now tell me what ewe wont four Christmas
heir it gets two chili.”
Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!
Eye gnu write aweigh
upon witch gift to seas:
“Awl eye wont four Christmas
is a dictionary, pleas!”
Owe,
Witch is up?
Witch is down?
Witch which should eye use?
Until eye get my Christmas gift,
Aisle use witch won eye chews!
(Thank ewe awl sew much–
this tail has run it’s coarse.
I’d sing ewe awl this song and such,
butt I’m a little horse – nay!)
MARRY CHRISTMAS ~ HAPPY GNU YEAR ~ PIECE ON EARTH!
Try the Homophone Machine!
Homophones are lots of fun to play with, and I had a ball playing with them as editor and writer for All About Homophones. And guess what? There’s a Homophone Machine right here that you can play with, too. I didn’t use it for this poem, but all you have to do is type in a sentence, hit Convert, and see what kind of silly sentence pops out. Give it a try!
More holiday cheer!
Tune in Friday to meet and greet fellow poet and friend Penny Klostermann.
Penny has some gossip about the Grinch and his dog Max that you won’t want to miss!
See more poems in my poetry video library.
“Holidaze!” © 2012 Renee M. LaTulippe. All rights reserved.
HAHAHAHAHA! You are SO clever and funny Renee! I think my favorite part is the end, but it’s all terrific! How on earth did you figure out how to make a sensical poem/story out of all those homophones? I am impressed! So glad you joined in the contest! 🙂 (P.S. For some reason this reminds me of the Jabberwocky:))
Glad you enjoyed it, Susanna! The trick is to write the poem first and add the homophones later. 🙂
Very, very funny. I love it all. This is a masterpiece. Oh, so clever!
Ewe are two suite, Pat!
I think u mite knead sum help with yore spelling. I kin male a book if u like.
I hope you win, Renee. I just sat down to read some posts, & there you were. So clever, a lot of brightness at the end of this tough weekend. I’m not sure it’s time this week, but I’ll be sure to share with those teachers of older students! Thanks!
Ha! Eye think eye mite knead yore book after awl, Linda Buy! Pleas dew share wen ewe kin. 🙂
Oh my, Renee…your mind just goes to the limits, doesn’t it? This is FABULOUS. I love it!!
My mined is jamb, Carry. Eye lichen it two a pair that’s bin left to rot.
This is so incredibly clever! Brilliant use of homophones. And you even made it a story, in rhyme, to a song! As you can tell, I’m impressed 🙂
Thank yew, Laura! Eye like two rime wen eye halve thyme.
Renee…you are a word genius…because it takes genius to use so many ‘incorrect’ words and still make ‘cents’!!!
What fun this was to read. 😉
Glad eye maid cents two ewe, Vivian!
hahaha, love it 🙂 Took a bit of reading, but I got through it & really enjoyed it.
If yew just reed it naturally, it will make cents. 🙂
ewe r two brilliant! How long did this take to put together? It’s a homophonic pièce de résistance!
Owe, Joanna, ewe maid my face tern read. Two kind!
HAHAHAHA! Wot a grate pome- sew humerus! 🙂
Wot hi preys!
Wow. That was great! My brain is tied into knots, but it’s happy that way.
Better a mined in knots than a mined maid of mush…?
Wow! Ewe are won talented poet, eye can’t believe ewe maid this up! Ewe must have a lot of patients. Marry Christmas to ewe and a pieceful New Year!
Aye dew halve patients, Heather, wen aye chews two.
Brilliant! What do you put in your coffee, anyway? What a mind . . . 🙂
A mined is a terrible thing two waist, sew eye drink tee…:)
This is hilarious, Renee! You’re so talented! I’m sure high school teachers would love this poem!
Yore two suite, Tina! Happy holidaze!
Ewe-all have a Happy Xmas or a Happy Ewell. Fun stuff!
The you’ll log is awl ready two Bern!
Oh what fun! What delightful fun! Renee ewe or sew inkredibull. Yore poit-tree is grate. How kin won hueman bean halve awl dose gyms in won mined? Yore acornzing (get it? not a homophone, but…) tee hee!
Acornzing??? Ewe mite halve just invented a gnu form of pome – hmmm……
Hahahaha! It’s no homophone. A corn (maze) ing. Amazing, acornzing! It’s so stupid. Yet I couldn’t help it. I blame the egg nog.
Ha! I got the joke, Pam! I was saying you’ve invented a new challenge that I feel I must pursue – taking words like “amazing” and replacing parts of them with synonyms. Now THAT would take some serious thinking…. 🙂
Ewe arr sew clever, Renee! Bravo!
Thanks! Eye kneaded two here that!
I was sure for a moment that I was sitting in 12th grade English Lit, slogging through The Canterbury Tales once again.
“People can die of mere imagination”.
Geoffrey Chaucer
Happy Holidays Renee!
That Chaucer was a reel comedian, ewe no?
Sew grate! Ha!
Happy to pleas ewe!
Wow! So much fun! Please don’t admit it came easy – I’d like to think it took all you had, and will take you weeks to recover! Really terrific!
Eye kneaded won our two rite it.
Wow! I think my brain is going to explode, but that is so awesome it’s worth it! I mussed no how ewe dew it!!!
Chews sum words and halve sum patients!
Eye enjoyed reading this grate poem! Eye can’t stop laughing! Eye even hit the sealing! 😉
Why did ewe hit the sealing? Wot did it ever do two yew? 😉
I laughed myself right off my seat…. so hillarous! Tell me the truth, you had something a little more stronger than tea when you did this… surely? ..LOL.
Know, Diane, only tee – cross my hart!
Wow! This is fantastic! I needed this when I was teaching homophones to fifth graders. So much fun 🙂
Yes, eye here the young wons are reel fond of homophones!
Wow, Renee, very different. I don’t know how you did it. Fun story.
Eye just put sum words on the Paige.
Wow! That was amazing to read. Very different!
Hope ewe liked it!
Oh man! You must be the queen of the homophones! Sweet story that made my heart dance and smile, dance and smile. The ending is so fantastical! Great job. 🙂
Thanks four the grate comment, Robyn! Glad ewe liked it!
Very clever. I was happy to see the MC put in a request for a dictionary.
Eye couldn’t weight two try the homophone machine, sew hear is my first attempt. Thanks four sharing.
Wot a grate homophone machine phrase! It’s fun, know?
So clever! But then I think your other entries were just so, too. Thanks for sharing such a unique way to enter the contest, Renee. 🙂
Grazie, Clar! Glad ewe stopped buy!
Ha Ha! Very clever. I enjoyed this. Great job!
I love the challenge of reading this and trying not to over think what I’m seeing. It shifted my brain to have to “listen” better which was a fun puzzle to go along with a funny story. So creative and tricky!
Yes, it’s awl about the sound, Anna!
Renee, Your truly won of a kind,! This is so cute and fun!
Yore two suite, Penny!
Eye ken knot think of a moor perfect Christmas poem. Eye bet spell check didn’t bat an I. A very marry Christmas to you! Well spun!
Silly me. I meant, “A vary marry Christmas two ewe.”
Oh, how very funny. I would convert this, but hubby is recovering from the flu and the toddler is occupied. So, I will just say: Merry Christmas!
I have to admit I was confused at first, but once I got to the refrain, I LOVED it. Nice job.
Wonderful FUN! Thanks for the laugh. 😀
Wow, that was a lot of fun – but I’m worn out! Whew! Knot shore how ewe maid it two thee end!
Holy Schmoly! I couldn’t believe my I’s. Fabulous!
So. Very. Fun.
or, alternately:
Sew. Vary. Fun.